I got home after work on a Monday, and felt a sense of anxiety from thoughts I had earlier on in the day, the feeling was overwhelming and I started to panic and did the first thing that most people do, Google the answer to this issue or message a friend, I completely threw to the side the knowledge that i had about this kind of frequency and the solution to it and chose to listen to others who were not in my situation.
Google’s advise was that I was suffering from depression and should take pills and my friends said ‘ohhh don’t worry hun’, REALLY? take a pill and not worry? Sounds like a party to me.
Anywhoo, this got me thinking, as i didn’t appreciate the answers i got, what would it be like if i actually had no one to ask and had to depend on myself for answers instead of seeking Solace in other people’s opinions? Then BOOMMMMM, i thought about switching off my phone, i felt anxious just thinking about it because i would completely be cut off from Instagram, Twitter, Whatsapp and all forms of ‘necessary’ communication, but, why did i feel so anxious about cutting those things out? have those apps really sucked me in to the point i can no longer go a day without aimlessly scrolling through them because i have time to waste? I didn’t like the idea that something so silly could hold my attention for so long that i forget what it’s like to spend time with myself.
And so it began, on a rainy mon..(I’m kidding).. The Iphone was switched off and placed in my closest, completely hidden from my sight. I sat on my bed and went onto my laptop and wrote more bits on my blog to post later, i didn’t cut myself off from emails because that’s the only way family, friends and bf could get to me in AN EMERGENCY! I used my Ipad and told my family that the phone will be off and if they REALLY needed me, then email.
I felt a sense of freedom from not using the phone, I honestly thought i would be dead bored and give in after a day or two, i was tempted to switch it on but asked myself why, then realised the answer was as foolish as what i would be seeing ;-).
I allowed myself to be with myself and not the social media world, i read books, meditated, spent time with my dad who normally would only see me in the morning or at night after work, i went for walks in the park and gym classes, i listened to Inspirational YouTube videos and cleared out my wardrobe.
I switched my phone back on the next Monday and to be honest, as much as there were messages asking about me, i felt no excitement from seeing those messages, i felt no joy in seeing my instagram page or the texts, so i decided that i will be switching off my phone and taking time out at least once a month.
My phone is back on now but i am less inclined to be constantly attached to it.
A few things I’ve experienced/realised:
1. I enjoyed my me time
2. I am more happier without my phone than i am with it
3. I can enjoy my own company without depending on others to fill in the ‘void’
4. I am not as ‘Boring’ as i thought i was ,because i had more things to do when i didn’t have the device that’s ‘supposed’ to keep you in touch with everyone.
5. I interacted with people who i normally would have never met if i had my phone because i wouldn’t have even looked at them.
So this was my experiment and as i said, i will be doing this once a month. Don’t get so caught up in the outside world that you forget what it’s like to be in love with YOUR own world, give yourself the privilege of knowing who you truly are.